do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
