I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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