i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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