My brain says no but my pants say off.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
