apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
