i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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