got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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