the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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