I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
