Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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