she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
