I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
