i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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