obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
