I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
