brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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