sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
