i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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