I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
