Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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