yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
