you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
