but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
