4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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