I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
