mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
