I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
