we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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