It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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