So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
