their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
