You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
