Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
only you would photoshop your dick
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dick very happy bro
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
