Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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