id be glad to
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
