when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
