i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
