So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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