We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
