fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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