Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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