belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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