CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
