My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
