Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
