I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
