so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
