After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
