Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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