So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
