soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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